Hamlet... Anime style
by Dawninglight2000
Summary: Ok, I had to do this for my Hamlet unit in school, and I got a pretty good grade, so I'm posting it. It's a Ronin/DBZ/Ranma/Sayers/Dragon Half crossover, mainly Ronins because Cye plays Hamlet :)


The Cast:

Cye Mouri: _Hamlet_Trunks: _Laertes_

Sage Date: _Horatio_Kento Fan: _Ghost_

Ranma: _Ophelia_ Rowen Hashiba: _Rosencrantz_

Vegita: _Claudius_Dais: _Polonius_

Vina: _Gertrude_Kale: _Reynaldo_

Gourry: _Clown 2, Osric_Anubis: _Clown 1_

Goku: _Fortinbras _Ryo Sananda: _Guildenstern_

** Players are to include Sekhmet, the Red Priest, Mink, Dick Saucer, Lina Inverse, Mia, Yuli, Damaramu, Gohan and other anime characters. **

__

The characters playing parts of Hamlet_ belong to the appropriate Japanese animations and their creators, and in no way were they actually harmed during the production of _Hamlet_. Ok, maybe once or twice we had to smack Kento and Goku for trying to eat the entire snack table, and the director was forced to use a fire hose on Vegita, and there were a few fights among rival groups, but other wise it all was generally safe._

__

Prologue

_On the set. Actors are around, some talking, some eating_

from the snack table, others grumbling about their parts.

The director enters.

Michelle: Ok, guys, let's get started. _She is ignored. A little louder:_ Guys! _Whistles._ Let's 

move!

Everyone: _Groaning,_ Do we have to?

Michelle: Yes! Come on, opening act. Vegita is talking to Cye.

Sage: _Smirking._ And to think I almost had to mess up my hair for this. 

Kento: _Grumbling._ Figures she'd make me a ghost... What'd you do to her to get her to

change her mind?

Sage: Not telling.

Michelle: _Turns towards the group, eyes narrowed._ NOW!

Act 1, scene ii

_A room of state in the castle. Vegita, playing as Claudius, is_

sitting on the throne next to Vina, playing Gertrude. Both are

looking pretty grouchy.

Vegita:_ Looks to Michelle._ And why am I doing this?

Michelle: _Sighs._ Because this is for my English project. Now work with me! I know there

is a Claudius in you somewhere. You're both arrogant jerks.

Vegita: But it isn't a Saiyan thing to do! This is humiliating!

Goku: _From off stage._ Oh come on Vegita. Be a sport.

Trunks: It could be worse, Father. She was going to make you Ophelia.

Vegita: WHAT?!

Michelle: _Snickering._ Thank you Goku and Trunks. Ok, Vegita, scene ii line 62.

Vegita: _Sighing._ Fine... _Takes up "Claudius" act._ Take your leave--

Michelle: Vegita! It's "take thy fair hour" not "take your leave"!

Vegita: _Grumbling about stupid lines._ Alright already! _Resumes._ Take thy fair hour,

Laertes. Time be thine, and thy best _coughs_ graces--

Michelle: Argh! _Stomps foot._ I'm gonna smack you!

Cye: _Peeking from behind the curtains. _Come on already! I want to act!

_Finally Vegita gets it right, after another fifty interruptions._

As Vegita is ending his best wishes to Trunks, Cye, dressed 

as Hamlet, walks in besides Vegita.

Vegita: But now, my cousin Hamlet, and my son-

Cye: _aside._ A little more then kin, and less then kind.

Vegita: _Looks to Michelle._ This is sooooo stupid!

_A random lemon is thrown at Vegita, smacking him square in_

the forehead. Kento has his hands behind his head, whistling,

and is walking away.

Michelle: Thanks Kento! I owe ya! _Turns back to the scene._ Cye, that was perfect. Vegita,

if you don't start cooperating... I'll put you in The Room. _Corny horror music_

plays.

Vegita: _Pales, and quickly resumes his lines._ How is it that the clouds still hang on you?

Cye: Not so my lord; I am too much i' the sun.

Vina: _Looking as if she wants to puke while saying this. _Good Hamlet, cast thy nighted 

color off--

_From off stage, the sound of sword fighting his heard. Sekhmet_

and Dais slowly back onto the stage, attempting to take blows 

at each other and yelling curses at one another.

Michelle: _Growls under her breath._ Security! _She watches, amused, as pink Jerry Bears _

carrying pink hair ribbons chase the two off the set. Ok, resume!

Vina: _Wishing she could get off the set._ And let thine eye look like a friend on Denmark. 

Do not forever with they vailed lids seek for thy noble father in the dust. Thou

Thou know'st 'tis common: all that live must die, passing through nature to

eternity.

Cye: Ay, madam, it is-- "common."

Vina: If it be, why seems it so particular with thee?

Cye: _Full of passion._ "Seems," madam! Nay, it is. I know not "seems."

_As the scene continues, Michelle wanders to the snack table to_

get a donut. As she comes back, "Hamlet" leaves for his rooms

while the people in the throne room celebrate. "Hamlet" begins

his fist soliloquy.

Cye: _Leaning on the stair banister._ Oh that this too too solid flesh would melt, thaw, and

resolve itself into a dew! Or that the Everlasting had not fix'd his canon 'gainst self-

slaughter! O God! God! _Moves slowly around his room, almost listlessly._ How

Weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable seem to me all the uses of this world! Fie on't!

ah, fie! _Clenches fist and pounds table, a look of anger on his face. _'tis an unweeded

garden that grows to seed; things grow rank ad gross in nature possess it merely. 

-- That is should come to this! _Sits heavily in a chair and rests his head in his hands._

But two months dead! nay, not so much, not two. So excellent a king, that was to

this Hyperion to a satyr; so loving to my mother that he might not beteem the winds 

of heaven to visit her face to roughly. _Drops is hands and looks to the ceiling, face_

full of sadness and despair. Heaven and earth! Must I remember? Why, she would

hang on him as if increase of appetite had grown by what it fed on; and yet, within a 

month! Let me not think on't! _Gets up and throws chair across the room._ Frailty, thy

name is woman!

Michelle: Cye! That was *Excellent!* 

Cye: _Bows._ Thank you.

Michelle: Ok, I'm going to play with the scenes a bit. Where's Ranma?

Ranma: _As his rightful male self._ I REFUSE to play this! You can't make me! 

Michelle: Rowen! Do you got a bucket of water?

Rowen: _Hands the always convenient bucket of water. _Yep. 

_Ranma is splashed with the cold water. To many of the people's_

amusement, Ranma turns into a girl. Before Ranma can go run 

to find some hot water, Michelle grabs him, er... her, and Mia 

helps in getting Ranma into Ophelia's clothing. They then drag

her on the set next to Trunks.__

Act 1, scene iii

Ranma: _Once as Michelle leaves for a moment._ I _refuse_ to play Ophelia! I am not some-

Kento: Dude, listen, unless you want to incur her-- _Points to Michelle_ --wrath, I suggest 

doing as told, then Cye can stop complaining!

Trunks: Ranma, you don't have a choice. None of us did. Just be glad she isn't making

you do something worse.

_Michelle walks in, looking happy as Dais walks behind her,_

tending to a bloody nose.

Kento: _Snickering_ What happened to you, Dais? Get on Michelle's bad side again?

Dais: Shut up.

_Still laughing, Kento moves off the set so Ranma and Trunks_

can take their places. Trunks clears his throat so he can begin.

Trunks: My necessaries are embark'd. Farewell. And sister-

Ranma: Don't worry, I don't plan on sleeping with Cye anytime soon. He's not my type.

Michelle: Ranma! That's not how it goes! Let Trunks finish his lines then say yours, in

Shakespearean!

_As they continue, Kento gets bored and starts wandering. Dais,_

seeing an opportunity, puts up the illusion of a spider on Kento.

Kento: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! SPIDER!!!! _Runs in circles._ Get it off me! Get it

off me!

Michelle: _Rather peeved._ Dais!

Dais: _Laughing hard._ I couldn't resist!

Trunks: _Ready to pounce on the Warlord._ You ruined my scene, Dais!

Michelle: Either get the spider off, or I'll give you a bloody nose.

Dais: _After a pause._ No.

Michelle. _Grins evilly._ You asked for it... Security! Take Dais to-- _Corny horror music_

--The Room!

Ranma: _Aside_ Man.. that is just cruel... _Watches as Dais is dragged off by the pink Jerry_

Bears and shudders as he hears a scream. Ranma decides he better do his lines 

right after all.

_The scene goes wonderfully well, and Goku comes along for_

his part as Polonius, seeming Dais was presently being

tortured. It is just after Goku's big speech to Trunks.

Goku: _Fumbling for the weird lines._ What is't, Ophelia, he hath said to you?

Michelle: Goku, sound a little more stern. _He repeats it._ That's better.

Ranma: _Nervously._ So please you, something touching the Lord Hamlet.

Goku: Marry, well bethought! 'Tis told me he hath very o...of... _Stumbles over the word._

Michelle: _Sighing._ Oft, Goku, oft... and you need to sound more concerned mixed with a 

little anger here.

Goku:_ Looks at her, amazed._ But... I can't do that! I'm not in an angry mood!

Michelle: _After a few more tries she sighs and gives up._ Fine, fine, we'll work on it later. 

Scene five people!

Kento: Woo-hoo! My scene! _Drops his drink_ _dives into a barrel of flour._

Sage: _Looking from off-stag._ Do I get to act here?

Michelle: Uh-huh, later though. Be patient. Not everyone is going to act today. _Sage sighs_

and walks out.

Act 1, scene V

_ On a platform outside, Cye and Kento enter. Kento is_

completely covered in flour and in his Ghost robes. Cye

looks really worried and excited at the same time as he 

follows Kento.

Cye: Whither wilt thou lead me? _Stops._ Speak. I'll go no further.

Kento: _Struggling to not laugh. In an eerie voice:_ Mark me.

Cye: I will.

Kento: My hour is almost come when I to sul... _Trails off and gets a strange look on his _

face. In his normal voice: Michelle? We need to stop for a moment, I really need 

use the restroom...

Michelle: Can't it wait?

_Kento rushes off without a word. Sekhmet shows up, gloating,_

with Vegita, Kale, and The Red Priest cracking up. Michelle 

gives them a hard stare as she crosses her arms.

Michelle: _Seething._ What did you do to him, you four?

Kale: Oh... nothing. _Falls to floor laughing._

The Red Priest: Honestly, it was nothing.

Michelle: Then why are you laughing so hard?

Vegita: Nothing... nothing at all!

_Michelle rounds on the four, surrounding them with the pink_

Jerry Bears. The Jerry Bears pull out a large bottle of Ex-Lax,

half full.

Michelle: Argh! YOU PEOPLE ARE DRIVING ME NUTS! CAN'T WE DO ONE

SCENE WITHOUT ANY SCREW UPS??? THE FOUR OF YOU, IN THE

ROOM! NOW! _Corny horror music. _AND WHO KEEPS DOING THAT??

_After the scene managed to get finished, the director was forced_

to skip Act 2, scene i because of Goku not knowing his lines, and

Kale being in The Room. Most of scene ii had to be skipped, as 

Vegita was now being tortured as well. Ryo and Rowen are with

Cye, Cye's hair is mussed and he has a wild look in his eyes.

Ryo: Mine honored lord!

Rowen: Mine most dear lord!

Cye: _Pretending to be enthused. _My most excellent good friends! How dost thou, 

Guildenstern? Ah, Rosencrantz! Good lads, how do thee both?

Rowen: As the indifferent children of the earth.

Ryo: Happy in that we are not over happy. On Fortune's cap--

Michelle: Guys? I hate to do this... but we gotta skip over this one too.

Ryo: _Exasperated._ Michelle! Come on! We're doing good here!

Rowen: Yeah! Please Michelle?

Michelle: Sorry, dudes, but we have to do the clown scene real quick, then Hamlet's 

death scene. Not my choice, really it isn't, but if we don't I think this paper 

is going to go on forever!

Everyone: _Groaning._ Michelle!!! 

Michelle: _Shrugs._ Sorry guys. I'll make it up to ya.

Act 5, scene i

_Enter Anubis and Gourry. They are digging a hole in the _

ground, talking. Gourry looks completely confused and is

having trouble with his lines, but pretends not too as Michelle

sits in her chair.

Michelle: Action!

Anubis: _As he's digging._ Is she to be buried in Christian burial that wilfully seeks her

own salvation?

Gourry: _Trying hard to get his lines straight._ I tell y- thee she is; and therefore make her 

grave straight: the coro- Er, crowner hath sat on her-- _Makes a weird face at this._

--and finds it Christian burial.

Anubis: How can that be, unless she drowned herself in her own defense?

Gourry: Why, it.. I mean 'tis found so.

Michelle: Gourry... Did you study your lines?

Gourry: _Blushing._ Sorry, but I couldn't understand what I was saying.

Michelle: _Give and aggravated sigh. To herself: _This is the last time I use anime

characters for my papers! _To Gourry and Anubis._ Never mind... we'll go to

Cye's death seen.

Act V, scene ii

_Enter Cye and Sage into Cye's room._

Cye: _Sounding like he really needs a rest._ So much for this, sir. Now you shall see the 

other. You do remember all the circumstance?

Sage: _Confidently._ Remember it, my lord!

_The scene continues, and Gourry had managed to memorize_

his lines for Osric, amazingly enough. They make it to where

Hamlet apologizes for killing Polonius while Dick Saucer takes

place of Vegita for the part of Claudius. Trunks and Cye are 

about to fight.

Cye: _With a smirk._ One.

Trunks: _Flushing with annoyance._ No.

Cye: Judgment!

Gourry: A hit, a very palpable hit.

Trunks: _With a sigh._ Well; again!

Saucer: _With all passion possible._ Stay, give me drink. --Hamlet, this pearl is thine. 

__

Drops the pearl into the cup. Here's to thy health! _Pretends to drink. _Give him

the cup.

Cye: _Refuses and pushes the cup away._ I'll play this bout first; set it by awhile.-- Come!

_After a few moments, Cye again hits Trunk. _Another hit; what say you?

Trunks: _Now really annoyed._ A touch, a touch I do confess.

Saucer: Our son shall win.

Vina: _Gloating because she gets to work next to Saucer instead of Mink._ He's fat, and

scant of breath. Here, Hamlet, take my napkin, rub thy brows. The queen carouses 

to thy fortune, Hamlet.

Cye: _Breathing hard._ Good madam! 

_Vina drinks from the cup, despite Saucer's warnings, Meanwhile,_

Cye and Trunks are getting rather rough in their game. 

Trunks wounds Cye. Enraged, Cye manages to grab Trunks's

sword and wounds him in return. People are trying to pull

the two apart as Vina falls.

Vina: The drink! The drink! O my dear Hamlet! -- I am poison'd. _She dies._

Cye: _Enraged even further and stands, glaring._ O villainy! Ho, let the doors be lock'd!

_Sage runs to lock the doors._ _Cye is now bellowing._ Treachery! Seek it out!

_As the crowd moved to find out who killed the queen, Trunks_

falls. He explains that Cye is also to die by the same sword 

that killed himself and that Saucer is the traitor. Beyond rage,

Cye pounces on Saucer and stabs the sword through him. Then 

he forces the poison down his throat. Saucer dies.

Trunks: _Gasping for air and looks sorry._ He is justly serv'd: it is a poison temper'd by

himself. Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet. Mine and my father's

death come not upon thee, nor thine on mine! _Dies._

Cye: _Extremely pale and falls to the floor._ Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee.

_Sorrowfully:_ I am dead Horatio. --Wretched queen, adieu! --You that look pale and 

tremble at this chance, that are mutes or audience to this act, had I but time--as this 

fell sergeant, Death, is strict in his arrest--O, I could tell you-- but let it be. _Looks up_

to Sage, who is near tears and is hold Cye in his arms. Horatio, I am dead; thou 

livest. Report me and my cause aright to the unsatisfied.

Sage: _Tears spilling freely. _Never believe it! I am more antique Roman then a Dane. 

Here's yet some liquor left. _Grabs the cup and is ready to drink._

Cye: _Knocks it out of his hands._ O God, Horatio, what a wounded name, things standing 

thus unknown, shall live behind me! If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart, absent 

thee from-- _coughs_ --felicity awhile, and in this harsh world draw thy breath in pain

_is shaking uncontrollably as the poison makes it's claim. --_To tell my story! _Dies._

_Damaramu, taking part of Fortinbras because Goku was _

busy, breaks through the door as Sage stands holding Cye.

Sage explains what happened and Damaramu becomes grave.

Damaramu: Bear Hamlet to the stage; for he was likely, had he been put on, to have 

proved most royally. _Everyone exeunt, stage left._

Michelle: WOO HOO! Good job everyone! _As soon as Cye is set down Michelle jumps_

into Sage's arms. Ok, you all deserve a break. My house, party!

Trunks: _Standing._ What about those in The Room? _Corny horror music._

Michelle: _Looking around. _Who keeps doing that??? _Looks confused, but shakes it off._

Well, they must have cracked now... they can come.

Damaramu: _Looking worried._ What is IN that room, anyway?

Michelle: Oh... just some pretty pink tutus, pink hair ribbons, and pink Jerry Bears who

have had WAAAAAAYYY too much caffeine and love dressing people in

pink.

_Everyone pales and hurries to free the people in The Room._

They all come out in pink make-up, pink dresses and have

pink hair ribbons in their hair. They rush out, screaming

for mercy. Laughing, everyone leaves for the party at the

director's house.


End file.
